French kissing is one of the most underrated forms of affection. Ironically, it’s also one of the most important. French kiss a girl the right way, and it opens doors for a second date. It can even be the catalyst to take things a step further and head back to your place. If you commit a bunch of first-kiss mistakes and do it sloppy and wrong and well… you tried, right?
So in the name of more second dates, hookups and lovemaking everywhere, we’ve compiled a handy guide chock full of everything you need to know about French kissing — from must dos to things to stay away from, pitfalls you’ll need to navigate, and yes, how to use those lip skills to lead to more intimate acts. Even if you think you’ve mastered the art of french kissing, everyone could use a little refresher course every now and then, am I right?
1. Basic French Kissing
2. Time To Start French Kissing
3. Advantages And Disadvantages To French Kissing
4. Advanced French Kissing Techniques
5. How French Kissing Can Lead To More
Basics of French Kissing
So, you’re going to kiss a girl and use your tongue. Obviously, this opens up doors for a lot of potentially awkward situations. To keep things less slobbery and more streamlined, here are a few do’s and don’ts to keep top of mind.
Do keep it passionate, and include your body. Remember, the whole reason you’re French kissing and not regular kissing is because you want that added spark that ignites when two people put their mouths together this way. “The most important part is what you do with your hands,” she says. “You can touch, rub and feel the other person. Place a strong hand on the back of her head and passionate kiss like you mean it.”
Don’t forget about oral hygiene. If you’re going to be kissing this way, keep in mind that your partner is about to get very up close and personal with your mouth — so it’s to both of your benefits to make sure you do your due diligence in making sure that area is good to go. “Keep good oral health,”.
Do introduce your tongue slowly. You don’t want to take her by surprise with your tongue. Instead, you want to slip it in there seamlessly so that it just becomes part of the motion of your mouths. “Don’t dive straight in for a French kiss,” “Instead, kiss around the neck and the mouth. This will make you both feel more relaxed and sensual.” When you do go in for it, use your tongue sparingly. “Don’t feel you need to extend your whole tongue,”. “Instead, use the tip of your tongue to explore the other person’s tongue. Then, focus the kiss on the tongue. Remember, you are not licking their mouth but caressing their tongue.”
Don’t slobber. When you’re doing the tongue tango, it’s almost inevitable that things can get sloppy. But there are a few ways to help prevent it. “If you feel like you are salivating too much, close your mouth,”. “Then slowly peck her cheek, her ears or her neck. This will give yourself a chance to regroup. Then, go back in.” Make sure you’re staying aware of the saliva situation — if it gets too far gone, you might need to discreetly wipe your face before going back at it. The key is to make sure you stop before you get to that point.
Do keep your tongue engaged. Once you’ve successfully introduced your tongue into her mouth, make sure you keep things moving. “Actively engage your tongue,”. “Once it’s out, don’t let it stay there. Think of it as a dance of your tongues.” Make sure you’re not putting too much or too little force into the work you’re doing with your tongue, either. Ideally, you want to be matched where pressure is concerned. Usually the more delicate, the better.
Don’t hit her teeth. Nothing takes you out of the passionate kissing mood like colliding with your partner’s teeth. To prevent this, it’s important to be mindful of how much you’re opening your mouth. “Don’t open your mouth too wide,”. “She still wants to feel your lips. If you open too wide, she’ll only feel your tongue and your teeth. Think of it as pursing your lips; your lips are the gate to your tongue.”
The Right Time To Start French Kissing
You’re on a first date with a girl you really like, and the two of you are definitely feeling each other. You decide that at the end of the night, you’re going to go in for a kiss. But, is it too soon to get your tongue involved? Should you wait until a few more dates in? Will she feel like you’re coming in too hard and fast if you do try and French kiss her?
When it comes to what the experts say, the jury is out on this one. But here are a few things to consider when you’re figuring out the right time to start French kissing someone new.
Right away, if you both want to. “You can go on a date and want to French kiss the other immediately,”. “It makes no difference as to when. French kissing is no longer seen as exclusively foreplay to sex, nor is it seen as overly provocative. Many people French kiss at the altar when they wed, and you see lovers embrace and kiss when leaving each other at a station, and a lot of kissing in bars and clubs. A first date would warrant a kiss if you feel you want to see the other person again. Second dates get stuck in.”
But don’t assume it’s automatically on the table. “Some people might be ready for French kissing from the first date, while some might take a slower approach and need some warming up before they start swapping spit,”. “Nothing is ever fair game right away. Be respectful, mature and upfront about your preferences. If asking if it’s okay for you to ‘take your kissing to the next level’ makes you uncomfortable, consider whether you’re emotionally mature enough to handle a relationship in the first place.”
If you’re into each other. “The way two people kiss is also the way they communicate and bond,”. “If you’re hesitant to french kiss your partner, then that means there are some barriers in your relationship, or that you two aren’t connecting on the same level.”
Advantages And Drawbacks To French Kissing
As with just about anything in life, French kissing comes with its own set of pros and cons. Here are a few of the big advantages — and some drawbacks to keep in mind while you’re going at it.
It creates intimacy. “French kissing is so intimate that it’s practically a form of having sex with your clothes on,”. “You are speaking from your heart with a kiss, and it is a language that says, ‘I am really connecting with you and I am here with only you.’”
But there are other ways to get the job done. “A French kiss is more passionate and you share something more than a simple kiss on the lips,”. “However, kissing the neck and the ears can be just as much of a turn on, and that type of kissing is softer and involves the lips.”
It can leave the girl you’re kissing with some uhh… physical evidence of the act. “Men, be warned that ladies are not too keen on a stubble rash,” If you’re sporting a beard, you might want to look into using a beard conditioner in order to help prevent this. If you’re rocking stubble and planning on getting lucky later, it might be time for a fresh shave.
It’s more heightened than regular kissing. “French kissing activates more nerve endings than simple kissing, utilizing more muscles in our tongues, jaws and cheeks,”. “These all work to activate the sensory cortices of our brains, which release more dopamine and serotonin (pleasure and happiness neurotransmitters). This encourages pair bonding. Frenching done right biologically brings you and your partner closer.”
It can get a little gross, depending on what you’re into. “The point at which someone considers French kissing ‘gross’ is subjective,”, “making communication between you and your partner all the more important. Excessive salivary activation? Possibly gross, unless that’s okay with your partner. Maybe they hate a dry mouth? It’s all about preference and communication.”
Advanced French Kissing Techniques
You’ve mastered the basics, understand how to time it right, and are fully briefed on the advantages and drawbacks of French kissing. Ready to put a few pro moves into motion? Here are a few suggestions for next level lip locking.
Get creative. “Try drinking ice cold water, then kissing,”. “The coldness of the mouth can be really nice, and if you include your lips and kiss other areas of the body as well it can be really pleasurable. In the same way you can use flavors by sucking on a sweet before hand or during. Take note that chewing gum is not a sexy kissing aid, though.”
Switch up the setting. A simple change of scene can do a lot for your make out session. “Change up the environment,”. “Kiss in the rain, in the shower, pull your partner toward you during a romantic crescendo in a movie. If you’ve already cleared that you’re both okay with Frenching, then spontaneity and surprise smooches are always sweet.”
Get your hands involved. “Your hands are the co-stars to your tongue,”. “Whatever you’re communicating with your tongue, you should do the same with your hands and vice versa. If you’re going in for a deep tongue kiss, your hands should strongly wrap around her as you pull her in. If your tongue is going in for a teaser kiss, gently caress her waistline with your fingers.”
Use a sucking motion. “Caress the neck and suck the tongue,”. “It sounds strange but your tongue is the most sensitive part of the month and sucking it can be really hot.”
How French Kissing Can Lead To More
French kissing is pretty much a gateway drug into more sexual acts like dry humping, oral stimulation and yes, eventually going all the way. Going down each of these routes requires your partner’s consent in the matter. But there are a few maneuvers that will likely lead you to the rest of the bases to score yourself a home run.
Move your body the right way. “A more passionate kiss requires you to involve your body and hands,”. “To get in the right position to be touching tongues you need to be close, so use your whole body and don’t be afraid to get close and touch hips, chest and so on.”
Let it lead you to the next step naturally. “French kissing always stimulates the other senses of our bodies and turns on our sexual buttons,”. “That is why it is very difficult to just stay with this stage. French kissing is a part of foreplay if you do it right (meaning, using your body and hands in conjunction). It can build up the passion to either taking it to the next level, which is usually removal of clothing or heavy petting, or it can leave you both wanting more the next time!”