How To Conquer Your Fears And Live The Life You’ve Always Wanted
Conquer Your Fears, Most men dream of a satisfying and successful work, love and social life, filled with adventure, opportunity and beautiful women. So why are you reading this article while eating a sandwich at the desk of your boring office job wondering where your life went?
Few have the psychological fortitude — based on years of built-up fear — to achieve a dream life, and so they settle into that nice comfort zone with few risks and confrontations, as well as a steady paycheck and benefits. That’s a good life, right? For some, absolutely. But what if you don’t want to settle?
As a success coach, my job is to help you identify the fear, discover the root of its origin and strengthen your personal power with inner work. You gave fear the power to control you, which means you also have the ability to take fear’s power away.
I recently worked with a client who spent 10% of his day doing exactly what he wanted to do, what made him happy. 20% was spent doing tasks he had to, and the remaining 70% of his day was wasted wallowing in avoidance and fear. Can you imagine waking up every day and only enjoying 10% of it? For many of you reading this, this is reality; in some cases, even things are even darker.
I assigned this client the task of documenting his day with a “fear journal” for two weeks. Every 15 minutes of his waking day, he took quick notes regarding the current task he was working on and how he felt about that task. Was he fearful or avoiding the task, was he doing the task because he had to, or was he enjoying the task?
We quickly discovered what his avoidances and fears were, and his journal also revealed where he had unconsciously picked up some of those negative beliefs to begin with. We then went to work to make corrections toward shifting his perception — changing thought patterns we’ve unconsciously repeated to ourselves — about the strong feelings and emotions holding him back, one-by-one. Then we tackled those feelings, faced the fear and ran straight into it, sick stomach and all.
It wasn’t easy, but the funny thing about perceived pain… it’s often not that painful at all, and usually not nearly as bad as the agony we’ve played on a perpetual loop in our heads before actually tackling the built-up terror. The anticipation and dread of fear was, it turned out, more painful than the client’s fear itself.
So how do we become fearless and unshackle ourselves from these unnecessary obstacles?
Becoming fearless in life first starts with trusting yourself: the less trust you have, the more fear you have. If you can’t be fearless with yourself, how can you launch that new idea, plan that strategy or find a new way to make a profit in your business… hell, even start your own business?
Successful people don’t avoid fear — they seek it out! They run head on toward it, tackle it and rip its head off. And another thing, they don’t think too much about it beforehand; they jump in and, as the popular saying goes, “just do it.”
Hey you, corporate desk jockey in middle management: do you want to be known as the guy who plays well inside that safe box? Or are you ready to shift the paradigm?
Today, that client I spoke of is now moving forward on a new business venture and recently quit his well-paying engineering job to experience far more financial freedom with the ability to travel the world as he pleases. Now he is truly fearless.